All are clearly deserving inductees, but I’m not here for that. I’m here to knock them down a peg or two.
Sergei Fedorov: I’m not sure celebrating a Stanley Cup win with the Detroit Red Wings is reason enough for that shirt, and those pants, even if it was their first title in 42 years. Hall of Famer yes, Fashion Icon no.
Phil Housley: The Gretzky Jofa is a legendary classic. The one that Housley sports here, even on his way to 97 points, was a disgrace to the game. You can be better, Phil.
Chris Pronger: Someone on the Peterborough Petes’ staff was clearly angry at Chris in 1991-92, which is why they gave him the biggest helmet and visor combo they could find, like ever. Tough to make a 6-6 guy look tiny, but they found a way.
Nicklas Lidstrom: I actually don’t think it’s possible to make fun of Nicklas Lidstrom. I’m not even mad at him for being Swedish, or playing for the Empire of Evil in Detroit his whole career. Let’s just appreciate this Red Wings retro jersey from before the time when retro jerseys were cool.
Congratulations to the inductees.
Now, If only this baseball superstar, Canada’s Bo Jackson, was going into the Hockey Hall of Fame too:
There is a lot of 1992 to discuss here. I’ll start with the moustache. Thick and rich, getting in the way of food and drink… that’s what a real man’s moustache is supposed to look like. I’m told that he looks “like a vacuum cleaner.” I had to have that one explained to me, but think about it, it kinda makes sense. It would literally take me 17 years to grow anything close to that.
There are also the sunglasses. If you were into baseball in the early 1990’s and you didn’t want a pair of sunglasses like those, I’ll bet you didn’t even care about life. The strap on the sunglasses, you’ll notice, holds them securely in place while a glorious mullet is allowed to flourish. The sunglasses were for the business, and the flow was for the party.
Along with great fashion sense, Doug Jones was actually one of the best closers in baseball for a time, a five-time All-Star, and finished his career with 303 saves, playing for seven teams, most notably Cleveland, Houston and Milwaukee.
The card above (O-Pee-Chee Premier… classy) shows him when he was about to have the best season of his career with Houston in 1992, after his worst season with Cleveland in 1991. He had lost his closer’s job and got sent to the minors for a bit. But then he came back in September, started the only four games of his career, and was pretty decent (3-1 record) before being released and signing with the Astros in the offseason.
He also pitched in the Major Leagues until he was 43 years old. Could he have done that sans moustache? I doubt it.
Well, a lot of what I believed in came crashing down around me today. See, today was the day Marty McFly got to the future in Back to the Future Part 2. It’s now October 21, 2015. We don’t have hoverboards. We don’t have flying cars. We don’t have self-drying jackets or self-tightening shoes or fax machines in every room of our houses… which is the one thing I was really counting on. Above all else, the Chicago Cubs will not win the 2015 World Series, so the predictions of Robert Zemeckis et al were just hollow and empty.
I’m left alone in the dark, shattered, wondering what it all means, and I lost a lot betting on the Cubbies. That Gray’s Sports Almanac is full of shit.
Like anyone else, I usually try to find the silver lining in the dark clouds. That silver lining is the baby blue pyjamas that the Cubs wore in the early 1980’s. The best part about these pyjamas is how high you can wear the pants. You can see here how Ivan DeJesus is doing everything he can to pull those elastic waist paints up to his nipples, just like Grandpa would. Another silver lining is that in January 1982, DeJesus would be traded by the Cubs to the Phillies for Larry Bowa and some kid named Ryne Sandberg. I guess that turned out alright.
Bottom line is it’s good to see the Cubs back on the map of successful teams in baseball. They’re being built well and they’re going to be around for a while this time, I think. And I’m rarely wrong.
There are a lot of things I wish had carried over from baseball in the 1970’s and 1980’s to the present day. I could do without all the cookie-cutter stadiums, AstroTurf and scandals (well, I’m sure there will always be those), but there are a lot of things I would have liked to see in today’s game.
One of these things is a sense of style like the one George Foster had. George is pictured here late in his career with the New York Mets. You see, George is wearing aviator sunglasses during the game. Not fancy Oakleys, not those flip down ones they wear in the field. Just pure classic aviators. That’s a whole new level of cool that I know I could never pull off.
I’m not here to talk about Neil Wilkinson’s 460 career games in the NHL, nor am I here to talk about his induction to the Manitoba Hockey Hall of Fame – in the same class as Theo Fleury, no less. I’m also not here to talk about his key role in the Minnesota North Stars’ run to the Stanley Cup Final in 1991.
I’m here to talk about the gloves he’s wearing in this picture from the San Jose Sharks inaugural season, 1991-92 (the year they went 17-58-5, not the next year when they went 11-71-2). Those teal, black and silver Easton Airs.
If you were ten years old then, trust me, you wanted those gloves. If you were lucky enough to have these gloves and an Easton Aluminum stick, holy shit, were you ever cool. Look good, play good, so they say.
Today, in Uniforms I Miss, the Hartford Whalers. Whether it’s the green beauty modelled above by Ron Francis, who was pretty good, or the blue one sported below by Robert Petrovicky, who is 41 years old and still plays professional hockey, the Whalers had a great look.
A few things that are worth noting about the Whalers franchise:
They were originally based in Boston for the first two years of their WHA tenure, throughout which they were known as the New England Whalers.
They were the first Avco Cup winners as WHA champions in 1972-73, but when the trophy wasn’t yet ready, the team had to use their divisional trophy instead for their celebration.
They missed the playoffs in ten of their 18 NHL seasons, but, in a magical run in the 1985-86 season, made it all the way to the second round before losing. In fairness, they lost game seven in overtime to the eventual Stanley Cup champions, but the point is they were never very good. But they looked good.
All this and I didn’t even mention the Cooperalls!
1. Shared the William M. Jennings Trophy as a member of the Montreal Canadiens with Denis Herron in 1981-82.
2. Won a Stanley Cup with the Calgary Flames in 1989.
3. Was part of the 10-player Doug Gilmour trade during the 1991-92 season.
4. Once wore the entire outfit pictured on the card above, including outer pad on his left arm, as an active player in the National Hockey League.
5. Played for both the Hamilton Fincups and, during their only season of existence, the St. Catharine’s Fincups. (NOTE: a Fincup is not a real thing. The Hamilton Spectator tells us that this name is a mixture of the last names of the team owners, Joe Finochio and brothers Ron and Mario Cupido. This is the most important thing to take from this post – a Major Junior hockey team was named after the owners. I need to know if this was an anomaly or if there were more. Don’t worry, I’m on it.)